


when the lights and the smoke clear

by LovelyMissPanda



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2015-01-30
Packaged: 2018-03-09 16:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3257177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyMissPanda/pseuds/LovelyMissPanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil just wants to be honest. Dan is scared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when the lights and the smoke clear

**Author's Note:**

> This is... not what I meant it to be. Oh well. Y'all still got whatever this is out of it. Title from Celebrity Status by Mariana's Trench. Enjoy!

They hadn’t spoken in hours. Dan is sprawled out on his bed, having flopped there after locking himself away in his room out of frustration. He’s still fuming quietly when his phone buzzes quietly in his outstretched hand. Looking at the display, he sees it’s Louise.

“Hi,” he deadpans. 

There’s a quiet tut on the other end. “That bad, huh?”

He groans. “Who told you?” he asks.

“Phil tweeted about you being a stupid-head. I sort of assumed.” 

Dan wants to sink into the mattress and just stop existing. “Oh no…”

“What happened?” Her voice is soft and comforting. Dan doesn’t want to talk about this, but he knows Louise will understand. 

“He wants to come out. To the fans.”

“Oh, love…” Dan wishes distantly that Louise were here so that he could hug her into an oblivion. He really needs a hug right now. “What did you say to him?”

“Well at first I just… brushed it off, right? But then he was all ‘I’m serious, Dan’ and you know how I feel about having my personal life out there. I kind of freaked out, I guess.”

Louise sighs softly. “How bad?”

“I may have broken a plate,” he mumbles. “I just got so freaked out, you know? It’s terrifying.”

There’s a sympathetic hum on the other end. 

“Like, it’s not only being like ‘guess what guys, I’m bi!’ it’s also admitting that yeah, Phil and I are together and I’m so worried what they’re all going to do, you know? What if they hate us for lying to them for so long?” 

He can feel the panic rising in his chest again, his heart racing, legs shaking. 

“Well, Phil seems to believe in them. I mean, have you seen Connor’s video? All the support he got? And he’s been around just as long as you two,” she rationalises. 

“Okay, so say the fans take it well. What if we become the token homosexual couple? I’m not about that life, Louise,” he says, sitting up. He plants his feet on the floor, elbows on his knees, and his head in one hand. 

“Then say that,” she states. “Tell them that this shouldn’t change anything between you and your viewers.”

He hums non-committally. He doesn’t know what to say after that. “I tried talking to Phil after the fight,” he says finally in a small, broken voice. “He won’t even look at me. What if this is our deal-breaker? What if he decides I’m not worth it any more?” His hands start to shake and he can feel the lump rising in his throat at the thought.

“Dan. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re basically his everything. Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

The words should bring him comfort, but Dan’s panic-wracked brain isn’t having it. “I don’t know, Lou…”

“I think you just need to have some faith in Phil and your viewers,” she says softly. “It’s understandable that you freaked out a bit, but try to see it from Phil’s perspective. He loves you so much, he just wants to be able to express that, you know?”

It’s hard to admit, but he understands. Constantly being wary of how they act at events and in town and in videos is exhausting. They’ve already slipped up god knows how many times. 

“Just go talk to Phil,” she says in lieu of Dan’s silence. “I’ll be here if you need me, yeah?”

Dan nods. “Yeah. Thanks, Lou.”

“Any time, love. Good luck.”

He smiles lightly. “Thanks.”

The line goes dead and his takes the phone away from his ear, gripping it tightly. He needs to get up the nerve to go talk to Phil, but his legs are frozen in fear of what’s going to happen. This can’t be the end of them. It really can’t. Phil’s been his everything, his best friend, his soul mate, since day one. He can’t picture living without Phil Lester at his side, forever and always. A life like that doesn’t seem like one worth living. 

It’s with that realisation that he finally stands up. If that’s what it takes to keep Phil, then he’ll do it. 

Dan makes his way to the lounge, where Phil is curled up on the couch.

“Er,” he says when Phil doesn’t immediately notice him. Phil looks up at him, but doesn’t say anything. “Can we talk?”

Phil’s eyes are wary behind his glasses, but he nods. Dan sets himself down lightly a respectable distance from him. 

“Erm, first off, can I just say I’m sorry? Because I am. I really didn’t mean to freak out like that. I just got really scared, you know? And I took that out on you and it wasn’t fair of me.” He’s trying to speak clearly, but the words are rushing out kind of fast and he really hopes Phil can understand him. 

Phil smiles a little bit. “Well, I accept your apology, but -”

Dan holds a hand up. “I’m not finished. Please, just hear me out?” Phil looks confused but nods for him to keep going. “If it’s really that important to you, we can come out. Because, honestly, it’s better than having a domestic about it every few weeks. It’s hard on us and our relationship and I don’t want to lose you over it.” Dan pauses and takes Phil’s hand with his own. “I don’t want to lose you over anything. At all, ever.”

Phil never looks away from him during his spiel, and when Dan finishes, Phil’s eyes have gone glassy. Before Dan can say anything else, Phil throws his arms around Dan and buries his face in the crook of Dan’s neck. Dan holds him close, relieved that the tension has finally broken between them. 

“So how are we going to do this?” Dan asks.

\--

The video goes up on a random Wednesday, with no fanfare, no prelude. Just a single video on Dan’s channel (decided after a rousing game of rock, paper, scissors) with the title “Let’s Have a Chat.”

It starts with Dan fiddling with the camera for a moment. He sits down, fixing his fringe in the viewfinder, and then looks into the camera. “Hi internet.” His voice and expression are subdued. “I think it’s time you and I had a chat. You see, I haven’t been completely honest with you.” He takes a deep breath before calling out: “Phil?”

Phil comes and sits on his right, offering a small smile and a wave to the camera. “Hello.”

“The subject of our relationship has been the subject of great debate since… well, since we met in 2009. Wouldn’t you say, Phil?”

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Phil agrees with a nod. 

“So I guess what I want to accomplish here today is finally setting the record straight.  
No more debates, no more speculation. I swear that everything in today’s video is going to be the pure and honest truth.” Dan looks over to Phil, who nods. 

“Because you all give us so much love and support and you really do deserve the truth,” Phil says. 

“So the truth is…” starts Dan. He looks over at Phil, who takes his hand and lifts it up to show the camera. 

“We’re together,” finishes Phil. 

Dan takes another deep breath. “Trust me when I say this isn’t an easy thing for us to do.” He looks at Phil, who smiles a little. “But it’s something that needs to be done. Now, I know you guys are going to have a million and one questions, so we’re going to preemptively answer them here.”

Phil takes his phone out of his pocket and opens a Note file. “Ready?” he asks. 

Dan looks down at their still joined hands and nods. “If you are.” Phil grins and nods back. 

“‘How long have you been together?’” he reads off. “We’ve basically been together since… well, since the beginning,” says Phil, looking at Dan, who nods. 

“Since the week Phil is Not On Fire was filmed,” Dan adds with a smile. “Next.”

“‘So are you two gay or what?’” 

“No, we’re definitely bisexual,” says Dan simply. Phil nods in agreement. “Next.”

“‘Why the secrecy?’” reads Phil. “Because we both believed that it was a private thing that no one really needed to know about.”

“But, it turns out that hiding something that big, that important,” says Dan, smiling at Phil, “is pretty damn hard. Next.”

“‘So does this change anything?’”

Dan shakes his head. “Not in the slightest. We’ll continue to live our lives the same way we were. Just with a little more… Phan attached.”

“And that’s it for questions,” says Phil, putting his phone down and looking at Dan. 

“So I guess that’s really it. Thank you so much for watching. I look forward to watching your meltdowns on Twitter and Tumblr,” says Dan with a laugh. “Later, Internet.”

They both wave at the camera and the video ends.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know. Might revisit this idea later.  
> Twitter: SubstitutePanda  
> Tumblr: TheSubstitutePanda


End file.
